Yeah… back to my encounter on marriage…
The changes after marriage are huge, starting from change
of place to living…
Am still in my initial months of marriage, that’s how I
tell myself to still feel like a new bride…
It is a great feeling. The days after marriage are a
little embarrassing initially with you know what J
As time passes, I got used to it and so I guess the
people around too.
Am a feminist and I respect every woman for the changes
she goes through, how she accustoms to it.
My mother, mother in law, grandmother, aunt, sisters,
friends….
After marriage, the respect has multiplied by bounds! I
can relate how they would have handled it and managed.
My friend and I were discussing the same, she is married
too. She was telling how much time she took to adjust and accustom to the
changes.
25 plus years living comfortably in one place, under a
roof where every room and wall is your friend. Moving to a totally different
place within city or outside, that place is always alien and never feel or
refer it as home!
But women do finally take that as their home... That’s
the power of women!
For men, it is easy… coz it’s always been their
home. But still I appreciate men for
managing between mother and wife attempting to make the wife comfortable in her
new home.
Relatives – it is another big challenge… and relatives of
relatives is further complicated.
Now you have thrice the relatives as compared to before
marriage. It was ok not to enquire or talk on phone or not visiting relatives
and their relatives, but after marriage… you are bound to do all that.
May be not all compel in this generation, but I guess
still in some families it’s expected.
Thankfully not the case in mine J I am glad!!
But definitely, relatives make a change and their talks
and comments…
I suggest “ignore”. That’s the best way to get them out
of our line.
“Ignorance is bliss”, truly applicable and best after
marriage.
Next comes responsibilities. Before marriage all girls,
atleast most of us, don’t have much responsibilities. We have our parents to
take care of every little thing.
But once married, even if you have in-laws and other
important relatives, you should be responsible. From the house’s cleanliness to
assets… That’s a big change which I guess people expect in a day!
Give the woman a little time, it’s there in every woman
and she will definitely come out successful.
This pressure is not only in the in-laws side, even in
our mother’s. My family will get a good name only if I adhere and follow the
above. That’s their thought.
Gimme a break, lot of woman do all this, still they don’t
have that good impression. Why struggle.
I suggest, take your time…. First get to know your new
family, coz they are important. Your husband. Spend more time with him and make
the best use of the first year to impress him the best coz that relation is the
foundation for the rest.
COOOKINGGGGG… can I stress more on that? No way!
I am definitely not a good cook and I don’t cook only. My
mother in law does and she does it amazingly well that I can never make it like
her. So why give competition? ;)
The same pressure from mother’s side as in the above case
continues here and sometimes more stressed!
My friend says, a family and impressing them starts from
kitchen. So true…..
No doubt you can reach all of their hearts through good
tasty loving food. So again take your time for this. Coz first impression is
best impression. So learn good cooking, am sure it’s not hard. Just need the
right time to do it. Use it.
Don’t compete for the kitchen. If you are in a joint
family, give the mother the space she owned in her kitchen all the years. Don’t
try to take over. She’ll get offended. Grow
with her in the kitchen and make it as OUR kitchen!!
Attending weddings and other relative’s functions –
pressure to look good and impressive. Talk a lot. Smile always…
We attended a marriage recently in another city along with
my in-laws.
I was following the “rules” to attend a function as above
and yeah… my smile… guess I over did that ;)
One of my relatives commented that … “Oh… come here,
where is she the one who smiles a lot”
It was embarrassing, not knowing how to be. I was
confused. So should I smile or not???
Again I follow – IGNORE!!
So friends, marriage isn't that hard, just take it as the
next event in your life… like education/work so on…
Don’t dread it (I used to earlier). It’s the next occurrence
in life… An encounter
I am still in the start, but sharing and learning every
bit of it makes it more interesting.
